


all of my heroes die all alone (help me hold onto you)

by ollieoxide



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 13:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20098282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ollieoxide/pseuds/ollieoxide
Summary: Immediately after the end of season 3. Adora struggles to help Glimmer cope with the loss of Angella, who's death Adora was the only witness to.





	all of my heroes die all alone (help me hold onto you)

“Adora? What is it?”

“Angella- she stayed behind, she- she... She saved us.”

For all the people surrounding the two of them - Frosta’s hand clamped tightly onto Glimmer’s, Perfuma and Mermista at Adora’s back, Bow steadfast on both their shoulders - it isn’t long before Adora feels Glimmer’s knees buckle in her arms. She’s stifling sobs into a tearstained red jacket, and while Glimmer has never been shy about her emotions, Adora’s first instinct is to get her out of there. When she remembers Shadow Weaver's presence, she knows she has to. Adora lifts her head and locks eyes with Bow and he understands wordlessly, moving the other princesses back, giving her space to hook her arms underneath Glimmer’s legs and around her body.

Adora carries Glimmer off the moon stone platform and onto the palace bridge, Bow at her side, repositioning a steady hand on her back. Mermista, Perfuma, and Frosta follow silently behind like a funeral procession. Except there’s no body, no coffin, no sense of resolution or closure, or of a life well lived. Just six terrified kids bearing the weight of an impossible loss. Adora never looks back to see if Shadow Weaver crossed the bridge with them. The palace guards understand what has happened as soon as they all reach the doors.

Bow closes the doors to Glimmer’s chambers as Adora sets her down on the bed near the window. The sun is shining far too bright, but Adora can’t remember a single time that it’s rained in Bright Moon since she arrived, and gets the feeling she’d feel even worse if that were to suddenly change. Glimmer’s trembling, sniffling silhouette looks small against the light. Bow kneels in front of her while Adora sits down next to her, their arms never fully unwrapping themselves from each other.

They’re all silent at first, even Glimmer, now resting her head against Adora’s shoulder, doing her best to steady her breathing.

Eventually, Bow speaks first. “Adora, what… what exactly  _ happened _ ?”

The question sits like a landmine in her chest, begging for someone to step on it. Adora opens her mouth, closes it. Glimmer’s head on her shoulder feels heavy for the first time. She had been so ready to help Adora find the truth of her past, a past Adora had hoped would lead her back to the family she’d never known. How was she supposed to explain the loss of the only family Glimmer had ever known?

“The… the portal. Catra opened the portal. It caused everything to shift into a parallel dimension where we- we all kind of lived these idealized versions of our lives.” Adora closes her eyes, the memories flashing through her head; Lonnie, Scorpia, Catra, Razz, each hitting her like a separate bolt of lightning. “But it wasn’t stable. Every time I was able to convince someone that none of what was happening was right, the more unstable it became, a-and they would disappear. I was able to get back to Bright Moon, and I found all of you-”

Adora stops, almost chokes on the image of King Micah, Glimmer’s father, dutifully at his wife’s side, fiercely protective of the daughter he never knew.

She spares the two of them that detail.

“I was able to convince that dimension’s versions of the two of you that none of what was happening was right, and I needed to find the Sword of Protection and disarm it in order to destroy the portal before reality became completely destabilized and everything disappeared for good. But the portal was anchored to me, and because I was with the two of you, you both disappeared.” She frowns and runs through the subsequent fight with Catra mentally in a matter of seconds, another piece of the story she decides is better not to tell.

Adora takes in a slow breath and tightens her arm around Glimmer. She sighs through her nose and continues, “Everything was falling apart. I thought I was done for, that I had failed, but then Angella saved me, and we found the center of the portal at the old First One’s temple, and the sword in the middle of all of it. There was no way I could have pulled the sword out of the portal and survived-”

“So she did it for you,” Glimmer says quietly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She lifts her head from Adora’s shoulder and moves to stand up. Bow takes her hand and stands with her, but once both of them are steady on their feet, she pulls away from him, walking off to the side of the room. 

Glimmer stands silently with her back to Bow and Adora. Her cape shimmers in the sunlight filtering through the window, covering up her own soft, pink, down feathered wings, and giving the illusion of something greater. Despite Adora’s best efforts, her eyes well up with tears again. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Bow choke down a sob. 

Glimmer turns back to face them both, her cheeks streaked with tears, and the illusion is broken. Her eyes bleak, she says to Adora, “It’s not your fault.”

Adora’s voice turns bitter. “You know that’s not true.”

“No,” Glimmer says, a familiar fire returning to her voice. “She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. If anybody does, they’re disrespecting her decision, disrespecting  _ her _ , and for that, they’re going to have to answer to me.”

Adora bites her lip. She was still processing everything that had happened over the past couple days, and while going over the mess with the portal helped get some of it in order, Angella being gone felt completely unreal. Her hopeless optimism gets the best of her, even if just for a moment. “Maybe…”

“Maybe what?” Bow asks, picking up on the sudden lift in her voice.

“I don’t know, I-“ She shakes her head, confidence faltering. “Maybe she’s not completely gone. She disappeared inside the portal, maybe if we could figure out a way to open it again-“

Glimmer cuts her off. “Don’t do that, Adora. I understand, but I can’t operate on false hope right now.”

Bow steps forward, palms turned out. “Glimmer, what  _ can _ we do?”

She looks down at the cluttered floor, and then back up at him. “Go home, Bow.”

Adora stands with a start and Bow sputters for a moment, both of them in disbelief. “What?! There is no way I am leaving you right now-”

“Please, Bow. Go home. Go…” Glimmer breathes in a deep, sad breath. “Go be with your dads.  _ Please _ .”

“I…” Whatever words he had the moment before fall silent in the air. Instead, he takes her in his arms, resting his chin atop her head.

Glimmer leans into his embrace. “It’s going to take a while to organize a vigil. I promise it won’t happen until you get back, but until then, I need you to be with them.”

“George used to fight for the alliance, he’ll want to be here.”

“Okay.”

He pulls back, grief and determination mingling on his face. “I won’t leave until tomorrow, though.”

Glimmer sniffles, eyes pleading for something Adora can’t place. “Then can you go check on the other princesses?”

The two of them share a look. Bow spares the quickest glance at Adora, nods, and walks towards the door.

The doors click shut behind him, and the space between Glimmer and Adora is too still, too silent. Adora can’t even begin to think about how to close it, when Glimmer whispers “What did she say?”

“To me?”

She nods, smiling. It’s rueful and sad, and something Adora wishes she never had to see come across her face. “The last thing I told her was that she was a coward. That she was paralyzed by fear.” The last word comes out a sob. 

Adora shakes her head, already knowing where Glimmer is trying to go. “She wouldn’t want you blaming yourself either.”

Tears start spilling down Glimmer’s face again. “Except I actually have a reason to.”

That’s Adora’s tipping point as well. She finally closes the distance, pulling Glimmer close. Her voice wavers, but she manages to murmur, “She said you were brave. Brave, just like your dad.”

“What am I supposed to do?!” Glimmer cries, clinging to her. “I’ve been so obsessed with leading this war, this  _ stupid _ war, I have no idea how to run a kingdom!”

“Hey, you are not alone in this. We’ll figure it out together, just like everything else.” She almost tacks on an ‘I promise’ to the end of that, but her and Glimmer have never needed that before. Besides, every time Adora had in the past, it had come back to hurt her, like claws dragging down her back.

They hold each other tight. They cry and hold on, and when neither of them can hold each other up any longer, they lay down. Glimmer rests her head on Adora’s chest, and Adora wishes she could open herself up, rearrange her heart, her lungs, whatever she can, to make more room for her. If she could become a vessel to carry Glimmer’s pain so that she would never have to herself, she would. But she can’t. It damn near kills her. 

Above all the pain and sadness, Adora is angry. Angry at herself. Angry at Angella. Angry at the entire concept of fate, and destiny, and the idea that this all had to happen somehow. Angry that, like Light Hope said, she doesn’t get a choice. Angry that she was “chosen”, whatever that was supposed to mean. She shouldn’t have to be “chosen”. She shouldn’t have to be stuck in this terrible, mournful place, built on nothing but old grudges and scars that were never meant to heal. She shouldn’t have to be holding a crumbling Glimmer, a blaze of light in her dark, the closest thing she could find to the stars that had long since abandoned Etheria, now an orphan, a queen not yet big enough for her own crown. 

Adora winces.  _ A queen _ . Glimmer had been essential, still is crucial, in helping Adora figure out what it meant to be a princess. The fact that she has no guidance on how to help her fill that new role expresses itself in more tears, a tangle of calloused fingers in pink hair, the tightening of a grip. Glimmer, Bow, and Angella gave her a home, gave her patience and advice, and a safe place to fall. She doesn’t know how to live up to that, or if she even can. Giving support sure feels like a whole lot of nothing, when it’s all you have to give.

Angella’s words ring through Adora’s head.  _ This isn’t your destiny… Take care of each other _ . Out of all the tasks she’s been given since becoming She Ra, this one feels the most impossible. Because this isn’t a task for She Ra, it’s one for Adora. Angella trusted her with the goodbye she would never be able to give her daughter, and she has to find a way to make that okay for all three of them.

A thought, a memory crosses her mind. It’s the only thing she knows to do. It’s the only thing she  _ can _ do. Adora presses her lips to Glimmer’s forehead. Lightly, gently, the action as fragile as the moment. Glimmer’s chest rises and falls in the softest sigh. It’s almost enough.

Almost.

**Author's Note:**

> anybody else super fucked up right now? i know i am !! wrote this to cope with the fact that i spent half an hour crying over this season finale, hope it helps someone else as much as it did me. ciao !


End file.
